Dear Reader,
I remember the days when everything I did was transactional. Whatever I did—with romantic partners, with jobs, with all engagements involving people—was based on exchange. It was either pleasure or money or whatever one might expect in a give-and-take relationship. However meaningful the connections, however strong the bonds, it was all based on opportunity and a willingness to engage with another interested party.
The philosopher Martin Buber might have called these “I-It” relationships—where other people functioned as means to ends, objects to fulfill desires or needs. Even when clothed in affection, these relationships operated within an invisible economy of mutual benefit. We rarely acknowledge this mercantile undercurrent in our connections, yet it silently governs so much of our interaction.
Now that I’m older, I strive to base my relationships on love and caring—nothing more. I would like to think that this transformation isn’t merely a function of age or material security, but of growth in consciousness. When we stop seeing others as vehicles for our fulfillment and start recognizing the sacred uniqueness in each person—what Buber would call the “I-Thou” relationship—some-thing fundamental shifts. The economist within us, always calculating profit and loss in human exchange, falls silent.
I wonder if this should be the ultimate goal of life: To finally step outside the marketplace of human relations and into something purer. To look at another person and see not what they can provide, but who they essentially are. To love not because it serves us, but because love itself becomes the purpose.
I invite you to consider: what would your relationships look like if you removed all expectation of return? What remains when transaction falls away?
Comments
No comments on this item Please log in to comment by clicking here